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Wednesday, March 6, 2024

🌼 March 2024: Transitions, Tips, Tasks and Top 5


One of the many things I enjoy about my work is the variety of clients and situations I get to work with. In any given day I may get to work with Gen Z college students, a higher ed executive, a team working on ecological preservation and restoration, and leaders creating opportunities for first-time home buyers from marginalized populations. And then the next day I'm hearing from engineers navigating the ever-changing landscape of AI, coaching a founder of a non-profit teaching code to refugees, and following up with a former student needing some insight on a career pivot. I learn something from each one of them, and deeply value their trust and willingness to consider challenging questions.

I'm currently reading Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents -- and What They Mean for America's Future by Jean Twenge in preparation for some presentations I've been asked to give on what it takes to manage Gen Z'ers. While I have lived long enough to know that each generation has its own unique qualities and challenges, what is standing out to me the most about the book so far is that there are some very unique dynamics that we are currently facing in the world today. Between teaching a college class of 20-22 year olds and recently celebrating another birthday that gets me that much closer to the classic age of retirement, what is standing out to me the most is this trend described by Twenge as "taking longer to grow up, and longer to grow older." In other words, people are reaching milestones like driver's license, getting married and retiring at far different ages than they did in the past. In turn, that is changing a lot of sociological dynamics. And I am seeing and experiencing those in real time.

So perhaps that is the lens through which I especially noticed this month's recommendations. Let me know if any of them spark your interest. Thanks for reading.

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🍼 πŸ‘¨πŸ½‍🦳 Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood. This comes from Pew Research and provides some fascinating and robust data. Here's a teaser statistic: Parents are very involved in their young adult children’s lives. Majorities say they text (73%) or talk on the phone (54%) with a young adult child at least a few times a week. Given that I talked to my parents once a week on the phone while I was in college because long distance was so expensive, I cannot even imagine this! Scroll down further in the article and you will see 5 additional "chapters" to this report that are worth paying special attention to.

🧰 9 Tips for Landing a Job if You're Over 50. Several of my #careercoaching clients are in that #midlife time of reassessing their professional and life #goals. Many of our conversations touch on several of the strategies suggested here. 

πŸŽ‰ How to Create Your Own "Year in Review." I am having multiple conversations with #clients about #annualreviews and I am trying to equip them to be able to talk about themselves in energetic and engaging ways. If you are struggling to get started, I think this article from #HBR can stir the creative juices.

5️⃣ New and Improved CliftonStrengths Top 5 reportAs of January 20, Gallup has created a new and improved Top Five results report. I encourage you to log back in to the Gallup website, then look on the right side and click on “CliftonStrengths Top 5 Report.” It’s 19 pages and shows how each of your top 5 pairs with your #1, among other things. This is providing really NEW and valuable insights to the clients I have used it with so far. PRO TIP: Use this expanded info to prepare for job interviews and performance reviews. Tell me what you think!

😡‍πŸ’« A List of Soul-Sucking Tasks and How They Affect You According to Your StrengthsMore than likely, you have done CliftonStrengths at least once with me and know that I like to talk about the Balcony and the Basement. Here's another interesting list of situations that you might encounter at work and why they can be frustrating for you. If anything, it will provide a good laugh.

πŸ‘©πŸ½‍πŸ’Ό Executive Presence for WomenGreat discussion with very specific advice on how to carry yourself professionally, especially in a remote context. I’ve already used it with two clients.

πŸ‘΅πŸ½ Redesigning Retirement. So I'm a little closer to the classic #retirement age than I'd like to admit... yet this article will surprise you as to the growing trends among 65-75 year olds. Check this out: "Seventy-one percent of Americans who are 65 or older say that the best time of their lives is not in the past but right now or still in front of them. And 83% say that feeling 'useful' is more important to them than feeling 'youthful.'”

🎧 If you want or need a healthy distraction... Maybe it is just me, but between world events and national politics, I am already getting overwhelmed and stressed out. If you want a fun and relatively productive distraction, I recommend this new podcast called WikiHole. A bit hard to explain, but it's a weekly collection of comedians falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. Give it a try!

Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And I love hearing from you all with questions, comments and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!


Tuesday, February 6, 2024

☔️ February 2024: Fulfilling Work, Giving Feedback, Finding Flow State


Yesterday I met with a client whom I had not met with since late December, so we greeted each other with "Happy New Year!" and then both laughed at the realization that that greeting feels a little goofy now that it is February. But I feel like I blinked and January was somehow over -- how did it speed by so quickly??

Living in Santa Barbara, we are on day 4 of very heavy rains... I am feeling some deep cabin fever, but instead of giving into it, I'll dig out my latest recommendations for you instead. Perhaps part of why January flew by for me is that I had so many enjoyable and substantial conversations with clients and teams. If you fall into either category, consider yourself appreciated! Here are some resources I have used recently...

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πŸ”› Questions for 1:1 meetings. Some of my clients are slowly revving up for performance reviews, or perhaps just digging themselves out of winter doldrums. Wherever you find yourself, here are some questions from Harvard Business Review:

From “5 Questions Every Manager Needs to Ask Their Direct Reports

  • How would you like to grow within this organization?

  • Do you feel a sense of purpose in your job?

  • What do you need from me to do your best work?

  • What are we currently not doing as a company that you feel we should do?

  • Do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day?

From “It’s Time to Reimagine Employee Retention

  • What motivates you most about the work you do today?

  • What are the talents you want to build a reputation for?

  • What career possibilities would you like to learn more about?

πŸ₯ͺ Stop serving the compliment sandwich. Coupled with thoughtful feedback during those 1:1's are often some constructive suggestions for improvement. At all costs, avoid the temptation to "put a slice of praise on the top and the bottom, and stick the meat of your criticism in between." This article will give you the tools to provide the "radical candor" needed, but in a manageable and palatable way.

🧰 The Need for Professional Development. OK, so the title embedded in this link is actually, "Most of your employees don’t want to be managers. Here’s how to support what they do want." Apparently studies have shown that only 1 out of 10 employees want to be managers! But here lies the conundrum: "Nevertheless, the statistic reflects the reality that organizations need to consider how to help employees chart a path of longevity that does not necessarily include management. When employees do not want to become managers yet lack a viable alternative, they can be left unsatisfied, reducing employee engagement and retention for the organization." The solution? Investing in the professional development of your employees! Look to the right side of today's post -- I've included a new block of the most requested trainings I can provide to you or your team. Let's get started.

🧘🏽‍♂️ Finding Your Flow State. I sure am seeing a bunch of articles about how to focus, cut down on distractions, go into “monk mode,” schedule times for “deep work,” etc. But do I actually KNOW my best conditions for getting into the zone and cranking out creative, energetic, productive stuff? Do you? Here’s an exercise to help you define how you might get there.

Thank you for reading -- please share it with a friend or co-worker. And reach out at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions or inquiries as to how we can work together. Ciao!

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

January 2024: Focus, Five Questions, and a Fun Book


I hope your 2024 is getting off to a good start. I just finished a two-week natural detox to reboot my immune system, this week I started teaching an internship course for the semester to fourteen undergrads, and I've gained three new individual coaching clients in the last two weeks. Other than trying to avoid Covid bubbling around me, I'm feeling energized. Enjoy my latest recommendations and tell me how you are doing.

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πŸ₯³ Word of the Year! This is a fun exercise I do every year and send it to my friends. Does it mean anything? Not really... but it's a fun way to spark some energy and creativity to kick off your new year. Give it a spin -- and if you don't like your first word, try again πŸ˜†

😱 The Dark Side of the Obsession With Focus. One of my favorite authors, Oliver Burkeman, author of my favorite book of 2022, Four Thousand Weeks, is back with more valuable content. Take 45 minutes to listen to this interview. I'm pretty confident you won't regret it.

​5️⃣ 1:1 Questions for the New Year. I got these from Lisa Cummings at LeadThroughStrengths.com. Answer these 5 prompts for yourself first -- they are clues to your top natural talents:

  • I’ve always nerded out on these topics and types of activities:
  • This comes easily to me, yet not to others (things you do or the way you think):
  • I get a jolt of energy when I’m...
  • I lost track of time the last time I was…
  • Someone told me I’m good at...

THEN, if you lead a team at work, ​ask the 5 questions to each team member in a 1:1. Some of them will be tough to answer on-the-spot, yet get what you can in-person. Then have them come back with insights on the difficult ones. This will give you new ideas about what projects to assign each person in the future.

🧘🏽‍♂️ From Inner Critic to Inner Coach. I am so intrigued at how certain issues come in waves in my work with clients. Naturally, I'm speaking in huge generalities here, but before the pandemic, much of my coaching requests revolved around learning how to #lead and #manage. Then during the pandemic, the majority of my work centered on #stressmanagement and overall #wellbeing. Now, even though COVID seems to be showing up for yet another wave and there are two big wars happening, I'm finding that client conversations tend to be swirling around #career trajectory and #jobsatisfaction. I have more individual clients than I've ever had, and many of them are wondering what could be next... yet at the same time they are really hard on themselves and think they cannot compete in today's job market. If this sounds at all familiar, take a few minutes to look over this worksheet. Contact me if you want to talk about it!

πŸ”­ Getting In Front of AI. I'm sharing this podcast episode as much as this particular contributor. I am consistently finding Ethan Mollick to be calm, reliable, helpful resource when it comes to understanding AI. When I randomly ask friends or clients whether they have been using AI, I'm finding that's it about 50/50 -- some are excited by it, others haven't tried it (and a couple weren't even sure what it is!). By no means am I an expert, but I have found it useful in a variety of interesting ways so far. Tell me what your experience has been.

πŸ“– Getting There: A Book of Mentors. I started this last week and I'm enjoying it. Do I admire every single person profiled? Nope. But enough of them are worth learning from, and I always love a good story, to make it worthwhile. If you need a good reminder of how much life is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration," and is also easy to pick up and out down in 10 minutes at a time, this book is for you.

Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And send me questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Onward and upward!

Thursday, December 21, 2023

My Top Posts for 2023: Do they tell us anything?


Perhaps in the spirit of Spotify Wrapped, I decided to check my most viewed posts on LinkedIn for 2023. It helps me to see what gets people's attention, but it also instructs me as a coach, consultant, teacher, mentor, and information nerd!

So here are my five most frequently viewed posts on LinkedIn -- I sense a theme... πŸ€”:

① How (and why) you should create a backup plan for your career. This was not only most viewed post, but it was viewed more than the next nine posts added together!! And I will confirm that job dissatisfaction / frustration / boredom was a repeated theme with a sizable number of my clients. In a recent conversation with one of my clients, where I encouraged him to update his LinkedIn profile, he said, "I thought you only needed LinkedIn when you needed to look for a job." I quickly responded with several points related to the power of #networking, #visibility and #professionaldevelopment. Those are all reasons as well for why I recommended this article. So if you haven't read it yet, join the thousands who did!

② How to handle feeling overworkedI led a discussion on this #podcast with a team earlier this fall. The title describes it well. If you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. 

③ No one taught me the importance of managing up—here’s why you may need to be your boss’ boss. I just had three conversations this week about this very topic. Shaping the expectations of your supervisor is so important to how you are managed and perceived. Key quote: "So, now, I don’t shy away from managing up. I no longer think of 'managing up' as impolite. I think about it as advocating for my #career."

④ What Color Is Your Parachute? 2022: Your Guide to a Lifetime of Meaningful Work and Career Success. (See the #1 most frequently viewed post!) This book gets updated every year, so no doubt the new 2024 edition should be released soon. Again, it just cannot hurt to lay the groundwork for a career change before you need one.

⑤ A compelling quote. My "LinkedIn Wrapped" review will end with this tremendous thought: 

“I sit here, and I know where I am. This is very important. We tend to be alive in the future, not now." Thich Nhat Hanh #selfcare #presence

Thanks for reading, and for joining me on the journey this year. See you in 2024!

Thursday, December 7, 2023

πŸŽ„ December 2023: Time Management, Teams, Toolkits and More


I am hearing from many clients that they are scrambling as they juggle quarter-end, year-end, project-end deadlines, also hoping they can somehow get it all done so they can have a true break during the holidays. May some of these resources help you reach the finish line!

πŸŽ„ * ❄️ * πŸ•Ž * πŸŽ…πŸ½ * ☮️ * 🎁 * 🦌

πŸ•°️ Time management: A guide to more sanity and less anxiety. This is an interview of my FAVORITE resource regarding time management, Oliver Burkeman. When I posted this on LinkedIn, a client commented, "I started listening to this podcast expecting time management techniques and realized it’s all about mindset. 🀯 i need to listen to this one again." I've recommended Burkeman's book here more than once. Give yourself this book for the holidays.

⛑️ A Refresher on Psychological SafetyAt minimum, include this video in your management training; additionally, maybe even watch it with your team and discuss it? It's only 7.5 minutes long but also packed with useful insights.

🌍 πŸ—£️ Getting Feedback Right on Diverse Teams. An excellent half-hour interview with Erin Meyer, the author of the Culture Map, my go-to resource for optimizing global, intercultural communication. A longer, more in-depth article was provided in the Sept-Oct 2023 issue of Harvard Business Review.

🧠 Mental Health Toolkit: Tools to Bolster Your Mood & Mental HealthI go in and out of listening to this podcast, but landed on this episode, and found it to be a great collection of things I wanted to be reminded of as I take some time to think about how this year has gone and how I want to step into 2024, especially in terms of mental health, well-being, and stress management. It is two hours long but I do recommend you take the time to listen to it.

πŸͺ« Energy Audit (Introvert vs Extrovert). Here's a simple (and science-based) worksheet on recognizing draining situations in your daily life and developing strategies to avoid consecutive energy-sapping scenarios that can lead to #overwhelm and #burnout. 

🎸 What we learned from our parents' record collections. The title alone got my memories flowing... Simon & Garfunkel, Carole King, Barbra Streisand, the Beatles, the Band were all on repeat (on vinyl, of course) in my elementary school years. This podcast also recounts some delightful stories as well. Enjoy.

🀣 Team-Building Question for the Month. Throw this on to your Teams, Slack, Google Hangout, iMessage thread and have a good laugh.

"What was the best holiday gift you ever received?"

Mine was an Easy-Bake oven when I was 7 years old...🧁 πŸ₯° 

May your December bring some peace, joy, rest, and good memories. Thanks for reading -- feel free to share this with friends and co-workers. Cheers!

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

November 2023: 🍁 Fall Favorites So Far


I know it sounds ridiculous to some of you, but here in Santa Barbara we were able to shift to sweaters just this week... so now it finally feels like fall. Please enjoy my recommendations for this month!

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πŸ‘©Women at Work. To say the least, this is a topic close to my heart! Despite having just finished a summer with the Barbie movie and multi-million dollar tours for Taylor Swift and BeyoncΓ©, I will verify that women by and large still face unique challenges in the workplace. In light of my 40 years (GULP!) of leadership experience I can say some things have improved, but there are days where I am not so sure...

But I will save that conversation for another day. For this month, I want to share these excellent conversations and articles that focus entirely on specific workplace dynamics for women. Even if you aren't a woman, please check these out -- I can confidently assume you work with women, have significant others who are female, and/or have daughters! These conversations are valuable for everyone:

  • The agents of change: How women are altering the power paradigm. There are so many quotable statements in this discussion, but I'll settle on this one: “'For those of us that have to navigate spaces where we are the minority, [it’s] part of our survival,' she says. 'The way that I'm allowed to be in this room, or in this place, is to make sure that I do not upset anyone around me.' [Nevertheless] Nekvapil teaches her clients that 'power is abundant,' and that one person having it doesn’t by default take it away from someone else." In other words, power is not finite. I have learned from experience that when I give power to others that I do not lose it -- in fact, it can enhance my power. Please take a listen to this episode.
  • ADHD Is Different for WomenPerhaps the best interview I’ve listened to on this topic because it focuses solely on the unique ways that women experience ADHD -- including peri-menopausal and menopausal women.
  • Forget the crisis. The ‘midlife collision’ is real and affecting a large part of the workforce. Many of my #clients tell me about the challenges described here. I appreciate the way the article frames the struggles faced in #midlife in a more granular way, especially as it relates to women's caregiving for multiple generations in their families. Here is another expression of this "collision" women face, described as a "portal." I appreciate that she frames this significant time in women's lives both as a crisis AND an awakening.
😩 Why Career Transition is So Hard. This must scratch where many people itch because I posted this article from #HBR on LinkedIn this week and it is generating a lot of traffic on my feed. It is by Herminia Ibarra, a wise author I trust, and goes well beyond the basic, obvious "tips" of most articles on this topic. I love this statement from her: "Career change is iterative. You can’t line everything up in advance. You have to figure things out over time and make adjustments as you go." The best part is that she then digs in and gives three strong pieces of advice to get you started on this process. I will be using this article with clients!

πŸ’° US Economy DataI don't normally post links like this (because they are WAY above my paygrade in terms of expertise) but I found this encouraging news from a "right of center" economist at George Mason University.

🀝 LinkedIn exec reveals exactly how AI is changing hiring and recruiting. Before you panic (or skip it because like me you are getting sick of AI hype), take in this quote from the article: "But he agrees with Chamorro-Premuzic that the soft skills that can’t be replaced by AI will continue to be an important differentiator for job seekers, citing the fact that 70% of U. S. executives surveyed by LinkedIn agree that soft skills are more important than AI skills right now."

πŸ‘πŸ½ What I'm Enjoying Right Now. All work and no play makes me a dull girl. I'm deeply enjoying:

  • The Great British Baking Show. I never, ever tire of this one. And I'm really enjoying the new host Alison Hammond. She's a hoot!
  • Beckham. Call me a sucker for yet another profile of British "royalty," but it is fascinating to watch.
  • Welcome to Wrexham. Lots of British accents in my life these days, apparently! Each episode tends to give me a good laugh and a heartfelt tear or three.
  • Sufjan Stevens' new album, Javelin. The first song had me at hello, and the whole album has been on repeat. I've also been taking in Seven Psalms by Paul Simon.
  • McCartney: A Life in Lyrics. Oops, more British accents! 🀦🏽‍♀️ But I grew up as a child on the Beatles and these episodes recount how Paul McCartney came up with the lyrics to his songs.
  • Leftover Halloween candy. More specifically, mini Swedish fish. An absolute FAVORITE!
Feel free to share this post with others, and reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!


Wednesday, October 4, 2023

October 2023: Happiness, How-to's, Hidden Potential



πŸ€” Using ChatGPT to Make Better Decisions. As I inch my way in to understanding and using #AI more, I plan to share the articles I find most useful. This quote captures the value of this article: "...while it may be tempting to merely ask ChatGPT for answers, the real power of LLMs is how they can assist at each stage [of #decisionmaking]." Much of my #coaching involves listening to my #clients and helping them figure out what are the true issues they are dealing with, so this resource becomes a valuable option to work through a complex question or concern. (PS I prefer ClaudeAI to ChatGPT)

🀑 Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy. Before you give a hard pass on this, hear me out. This is not a discussion about the emotion of being happy; it's about finding happiness, AKA "fulfillment" or "meaning," in life. Big difference! I will be the first to admit that a) this is a l-o-n-g interview, so I recommend breaking it up, and b) I often find Tim Ferriss annoying (skip the section where Tim fanboys Brooks' fitness πŸ™„)... Nevertheless, there is tons of good content that goes in several different directions and is very thought-provoking.

🌎 How to Influence Across CulturesI have mentioned on this blog before that much of my work involves connecting with clients in many other countries. I have learned a great deal in the last several years about what it takes to work across cultures. I have also mentioned previously here that I have benefited greatly from Erin Meyers' research found in her book The Culture Map, and have repeatedly recommended her interview on Armchair Expert. Another interview in that vein (a bit more sedate than Dax Shepard on Armchair and entirely business-focused) can be found on the episode of Coaching for Leaders that I have linked here. I am bringing this up again because the applications I gained from these resources are more pertinent than ever today as we continue to expand globally (and virtually) in how work is done.  While I’m at it, I also recommend this brief article on the distinct differences in meaning between the terms “multi-cultural,” “cross-cultural,” and “intercultural.”

πŸ’€ How to slow down and find some meaningful rest. I wish I'd kept count of the hundreds of times I have had conversations with clients and friends about fatigue and the need for rest. It is a constantly recurring theme, to say the least. I highly recommend this link of an interview on slowing down and the seven forms of rest that we actually need. While you're at it, take the Rest Quiz mentioned in the conversation, which I have recommended before. Heck, if you want to keep pondering this topic, here is an article this week from New Yorker magazine as well. I like the lede: "Requiring rest, rather than work, is still a radical idea."

✅ Hidden Potential Assessment. If you have worked with me, you know I like useful assessments, and if you've read at least a few of my blog posts, you know I appreciate the work of Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist who seeks "to explore the science of making work not suck" (his own description). He has a new book coming out - here's the blurb: "His latest book, Hidden Potential, explores how to build the skills and structures to achieve greater things, and how to create opportunities for those who have been overlooked. We can all improve at improving – and when opportunity doesn’t knock, there are ways to build a door." That concept of "constant improvement" intrigues me. He's lecturing here in Santa Barbara on November 16 and I plan on going. (PS If you take the assessment, share your results with me and I'll share mine!)

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. As I said last month, I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month: 

What's the last thing that made your face light up?
(Yes, like, really excited when you talked about it.)

My response:
I got to go to the Coldplay concert at the Rose Bowl last weekend. Singing loudly with 60,000 others is a good thing to do every once in awhile!

✍🏾 Journal Prompt for the Month. I take time every morning to journal. I don't write a ton on most days, but I try to take a few minutes each time to check in on myself: Anything staying with me from the day before? Anything on my mind about what I'm heading into today? How is my body feeling? What am I thinking about? This practice helps me prepare for my day by becoming present, and addressing anything that might interfere with my interactions with others.

I coach nearly every client to consider doing this, so I want to include a journal prompt here each month to get you started:

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

The link I've included sends you to the folder of journal prompts I make available to clients, if you need more ideas.

Thanks for reading ~ feel free to share this with a friend or co-worker. Send questions or feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!


FAQ

Hearty Bread for the Whole Journey? aka, "What's with the vague subtitle?"

If you have sat through (endured? enjoyed?) one of my Strengths Finder presentations, you know that I often refer back to my life as an eter...